I am finally ready to be on the road of my dreams

It’s been a while since I last posted a blog post, but its funny how fast time goes, when you are focusing on something.

Sunday the 15 January I finally did it.

After 1 year of debating whether to go for it or not, I did it.

I posted videos to my new You Tube channel, and since then I’ve been head deep into making more.

3 videos released and working on the 4^th.

For years I wanted  to make this You Tube channel, since I knew I was in love with editing, making videos, creating,  but I was too scared.

I kept making excuses to postpone my plans.

“I am not ready yet”.

“I need a better camera before I start”.

“I need to practise talking on camera”.

For Months I had this thought in the back of my mind.

“What if people hate what I am doing.”What if people hate what I am doing”

“What if a year forward no one will watch my videos”

“What if I start and I realise I hate it, and its too late to stop”.

What if….

But I forgot something.

Something Huge.

Making videos make me happy.

Watching my own videos with my mom, makes me smile.

Finishing a video, fills me with a sense of pride, like I accomplished something huge.

I made an idea into a visible product.

This is what I needed to think about.

Not all the other thoughts and worries.

The last many months, since summer, I’ve been through a lot.

I have learned a lot.

Learned about habits.

The importance of a healthy sleep schedule, eating patterns, daily exercise.

My entire lifestyle changed.

I do realise today why I didn’t start making videos on my new channel until now.

I had a dream, I wanted to follow it, but I never realised the sacrifices I would have to make.

I wasn’t ready to sacrifice it yet.

When you want to make videos for a living, then its work, and it’s a lot of work.

I wanted to play games all day, still be able to talk to my friends and live the way I lived. I wasn’t ready to give up the late night marathon gaming with my friends.

I was terrified if I did start and gave up time for my friends, if I would lose them in the process.

I was terrified that I would sacrifice too much.

When I am passionate about something I always do it a 125 % and have a hard time stopping, until I experience a burnout that normally last a few months.

So, this was the main thing I was worrying about.

But changing my life this last fall to a more healthier one, where I put my mental health and general health first, has done wonders for me.

I am no longer scared of burnout, because I learned how to stop it before I starts.

I learned to take breaks for me, for my friends, but not spend all day gaming, and by learning this, I am finally ready.

No longer ruled by fear, and worries following my dream.

I am in love with Editing and making videos.

I’ve done it for 3 years, but this is the first time, when everything just clicks.

Where I feel a sense of freedom, no longer burdened with my own negative self-talk.

I have no idea what is going to happen in 1 year, but I am determined more then ever to make videos every week.

To enjoy the process instead of thinking about the outcome.

To put all the love and passion into my work.

It had to start with slow steps of change.

I’ve known for years I wanted to do this.

But to truly be ready for it, I had to first understand what it takes to follow this road, what I needed to sacrifice, what I needed to improve on.

And I finally see it clearly now.

That every step I’ve taken the last 3 years is not father away from my dream, but I was actually getting myself closer to it.

I had to go through the fear, to work through it.

I had to realise and feel the sadness when I realised the first time, no one watched my first video, beside a friend or two.

If I hadn’t experienced that I wouldn’t have realised what really matters to me.

That its not about watch time for me, that’s just a bonus.

Its me doing what I love, and making my mom smile and laugh when she sees my videos.

Being a content creator is a lot of work, more then I could ever have imagined it would be, and I never really realised how much you have to learn.

Its not just watching a person play games, it’s so much more.

That person put hours of work into an idea, how to film it, what to say, how to react quickly, and then when its time to edit.

What to cut from the video, how to edit it

To add music?

Animations?

What the intro and hook should be like.

End screens, call to actions, thumbnail designs.

I had to learn adobe premiere pro, I had to learn how to use photoshop.

I had to learn colour theory, typography, filmography, and so much more.

And I am still learning.

Every single day I make a new video, and every day I am not.

But I feel happier now then I have been in forever, knowing that I no longer just watch the road I want to take, but I actual took the first step on that road.

I am finally ready to be on that road.

I have a 5-year plan now.

Something I never thought I would have, and I have dedicated myself a 100 percent to follow this road.

It’s never been so clear before.

The last 3 years was frustrating to me, but I am thankful of that frustration, because it thought me more then I ever thought possible.

The many times I almost quit on my dream out of fear, and worrying that I didn’t have what it took, before I even started, but instead of quitting, I kept moving forward. Even when I was at times taking a step backwards. I always kept my mind on the prize.

This is what I want to do.

Every day.

Create, edit, upload.

Have a beautiful and creative day, and always follow your dreams ❤

MissFaylyn Out…