Ambition

The other day my best friend and me where talking and she mentioned something to me that took me by surprise.

She told me I am ambitious, and I was so shocked by this word, ambition.

I’ve never thought I was capable of being ambitious, I never ever realised that I had that in me, but when she said it, I realised that she was right.

In my past, I always wanted a lot of things, I dreamed big but as soon as I had a dream, I quickly saw it as an impossible feat and moved on to the next new thing or I just rolled with the flow, and did what was necessary and let the days pass by.

My only dream for years was to get a house so I could get myself a dog, that was it.

But since I started streaming and making videos, I love what I do, and I want to learn more, I want to grow in my field, I want to expand what I do.

So, what happened? How did I change so much?

Well basically the last year or so I’ve been operating on the saying don’t think just do, and what I mean by this is I tend to overthink things a lot, to the point I get too scared of doing anything, I’m already so worried I will fail rather than succeed so not even trying new things became my norm, until I followed this little mantra for myself.

To just do what I feel like in the moment and then wait and see how it goes.

If I realise, I have a passion for this, then it does not matter all of the sudden if I fail, because I do it for me, and me alone.

When I suddenly became brave enough to try new things and to feel motivated, was when I had a massive crisis in my life, I was at a point where I had lost a lot.

Friends, a relationship that had lasted 3 years. I realised I didn’t have anything else to lose, so it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself and just do.

In the beginning I just did it to make the days pass faster so I would stop feeling so miserable and I came to realise it slowly worked.

I got my confidence back and I felt I got a new side of me back that I had lost in my teenage years.

Now I have so many dreams, and most days I can’t wait to work on my next project.

I have to force myself to bed most days because I am just so into what I do, and I don’t remember having that drive to do anything in the past.

I remember when I was 20 something and had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and I never expected I would find something that I love so much.

I realised it doesn’t matter what age you are at, or who you are as a person, that one thing that you just love doing will one day show up and you might be as shocked as me realising it might be something you could never imagine yourself doing with your life.

I never saw myself being so public or putting myself out there in this way, but now I cant imagine a life without this.

My only problem that I have to balance now, is slowing down a little, because at the moment I want to do it all, but the day only has this many hours in it, and I have to make time for friends, family and even remember to take a day off.

Doing what I do, its often I go to bed obsessing about my next project and it keeps me awake. My passion for this makes it hard to sometimes fall asleep.  

Its never to late:

I really believe now that we all have this in us. Its just about finding it for yourself, whether its taking pictures, drawing, playing music, playing games, working in the force, or being a teacher.

I really believe that to find that little something is to try as many things as possible, see what you grow an interest in, and to be brave enough to believe that you can do it.

I believe now that we can do anything we put our mind and heart into. Yes it might take time, as in years, and a lot of personal growth or reading up on a subject or two.

Just dont give up before you try it, keep at it.

If you love what you do start it as a hobby and then see if you can grow it into a job one day.

Im still at the hobby phase, but I have all the faith in the world that its only temporary.

As long as I keep at it, and dont give up if I have rough days sometimes.

And with everything in life you will have rough days at times, but then its okay to put it on pause and pick it up again when you feel better.

Fx as a streamer, I had a couple of rough months and I lost followers, and when I was streaming my energy wasnt the same, I wasnt the same happy me that I normally try to bring to my stream, instead of forcing myself to be on, when I wasnt feeling it I took a break and now im back to streaming and having the same positive energy that i had before, in the months i wasnt streaming, I instead started rescherching how to become a better streamer, how to make more engaging videos, and I learned so much in that time. So when I came back to my stream, Ive become a better streamer. I engage with the viewers I have a lot easier, and feel more excited about it now.

I still have a lot to learn, but I know that practise makes perfect.

Its like a raidboss in world of warcraft, we wipe what 20 – 80 times on a mythic boss and then suddenly do the fight flawless to see the boss go down. It means you might fail at something many many times, but eventually it will be a succes story. Just keep at it, and never give up.

What makes you jump out of bed excited?

What are you ambitious about? What is your passion?

Feel free to write in the comments below 🙂

Have an amazing day, Missfaylyn out, until next time 🙂 ❤