Faydra ran.
As fast as her legs could carry her.
It was storming.
The worst storm she had ever been outside in.
But she didn’t care.
Lightning struck a near by tree.
Fire engulfed it and made the ground shake.
This only made her run faster.
She didn’t care.
If she was struck by lightning so, be it.
She had to reach him in time.
She had to make him see reason.
She had to rescue him from himself.
She had to get there in time.
Her thoughts was racing as fast as her steps was.
Tears falling down her cheeks.
Mixing with the rain.
She was close.
Hopefully she got there in time.
She saw his house in the distance and ran even faster.
It looked cold, dark.
Too dark.
She approached the house with a breaking heart.
Clinging to the hope that she wasn’t too late.
Her father.
The man that used to be her hero.
Was in need of help.
He had to be saved from himself, and the darkness within.
She had to help him conquer this evil, and make him feel joy again, feel hope.
But as she approached the house, she saw him.
On the ground
Lying in the dirt.
She was too late.
The demon had already gotten to him before she could.
It was too late.
Faydra fell down in front of the corpse of her father.
the broken-down husk of a man she loved so much.
Unrecognizable.
Faydra wailed into the sky.
A high pitch scream mixing with the thunder in the background.
A scream of despair and deep-rooted anger.
Why?
Why couldn’t he see reason?
Why had he just given up like this?
How could he leave her like this!
Didn’t he know that she still needed her father.
That deep down she was still a little girl needing the hero she used to see him as.
Faydra changed after that.
She became cold.
And a small part of the demon that had once been in her father took root in her heart.
The picture-perfect view she had once had of her father, the Hero died that day.
She buried a piece of herself with her dad.
The storm had passed but was now raging within her instead.
In time Faydra would move on, but the anger would still be there, would always be there.
How could he…
Words are failing me right now, but I have to write.
I have to write about my father.
The father I always looked up to.
The father I learned so much from.
That father I’ve loved every day of my life.
And that same father wasting away into very little right now.
The father who taught me about strength, and fighting for what I believe in, is now in the process of giving up entirely.
And despite my constant help and advice, it falls to deaf ears.
As a little girl he was my rock.
He encouraged me to seek out knowledge, to continuously learn new things, but to also question everything I learned.
As he told me once
“A long time ago people would believe that the earth was flat until it was one day proven it wasn’t, and there for its important to always keep an open mind to what you learn”.
I live by this today, I always keep an open mind, question what I learn, and investigate matters from all possible sides before I believe in something full hearted.
I grew up watching him play games, and that would later inspire me to dive into gaming myself.
He encouraged me to stay curious, and there for sparked my need to be creative.
As I grew up from a child to a teenager, my love for him grew.
I Idolized him.
Even though I only saw him 1 day every fourteen days.
That one day, was a day I always looked forward to.
I was so similar to him in so many ways.
I often joked with people around me that I was just a female version of my dad, and to a point I still am.
I have the same darkness he struggles with.
I have the same anger, at a system that failed us both for years.
But instead of listening to that anger, I did something about it.
I turned my life around and kept fighting for myself, while my dad just stayed angry.
That anger later turned to something else, and here I sit today, watching my dad wither away, and instead of rushing to his aid as I would have done in the past, that I have so many times done.
I am tired.
I realised that there is only so much I can do.
It made me realise that the only reason why I got better, from a life in darkness, was that I willingly wanted to do whatever it took.
I fought like I had never done before, and I never gave up.
I chose to walk another path for myself, I chose to fight.
My dad gave up years ago, and while I want to help him more than anything, there isn’t much I can do.
He has to chose to fight, chose to want to fight.
I won’t go into the details, because right now if I did so, my heart would break.
Again
Instead, I am writing this post, to release some of this anger, and the impending doom I feel inside.
That eventually soon, my nightmare version of my story I wrote in the beginning will one day come true.
Until then I am watching the clouds form for the upcoming storm, and still having the sliver of hope that one day, my dad, my Hero, will see reason, and realise that he still have people in his life to fight for, that there are still some who needs him.
That I still need my dad, like I did as a little girl.
I need him to be my hero again.
P.S: A lot is happening in my life right now, and while I havent struggle this much to be creative, I have to just write.
I have to release some of this emotions and thoughts racing through my mind, and the best way I do this is here.
So one day I can look back, reflect when I need to reread this post again.
I know its a different post that I normally post, but I just had to get it out, in a way that feels right to me.
I will be posting a lot of other posts in the upcoming days.
Like I said a lot is happening in my life right now, and its been hard to process and keep up with it all.
I still need to work on my website and make my first video on you tube, but this summer heat makes it hard for me to sit in my room for too long, so it might be a while, before I get down to it.
Dear Reader, no matter what happens in your life, keep strong, and keep the fight going, never give up, there is always sunshine and rainbows after the storms in your life ❤
MissFaylyn Out…
Missfaylyn 