Thinking back to my experience today feels me with joy and warmth, a feeling I haven’t felt in ages.
I didn’t plan to write another blogpost day, but I’m so inspired that I feel compelled to put my experience on paper.
So here goes…
Faydra smiled.
Today was the day.
She had no idea what to expect but was excited to find out.
She yawned a little, it had been almost impossible trying to sleep last night.
She was never good with the feeling of excitement; it would overwhelm her to a point where it was hard to calm down enough to fall asleep.
Normally she would read herself to sleep but she had promised herself to just close her eyes and try her best.
A million thoughts had entered her mind, expectations of what would happen the next day, her work and many ideas and dreams for the future.
The future couldn’t look any brighter than it did right at this second.
She smiled again, feeling the warmth and a sense of calm in her heart.
She felt the world changing around her. She heard it in the breeze coming from her window, on the sun piercing her skin, she heard it in the music she was listening and singing along too.
It was time to get ready.
She looked at the clock a bit nervous that she would be late.
“Phew” She exhaled, relieved to see that she had a lot of time.
She didn’t want to rush herself today but take it easy, step by step.
She found the clothes she wanted to wear today. Should she wear the harry potter t-shirt or the t-shirt with her favourite heavy metal band – five finger death punch?
She decided on the harry potter t-shirt.
She started packing her bag.
What should she bring?
Her e-reader for the train, if she found herself too overwhelmed it would help to calm her down.
What about her pen and little notebook?
If she had any new ideas, it would be nice to be able to write it down.
She brought them both.
Overpacking as usual, but better to be prepared for anything.
It was time to head down to the train.
She was silently humming on the walk there and when she was there it arrived just in time, like it knew that she was here, ready to step onboard.
She found her seat, and silently took in her surroundings.
She realised how much she had missed that feeling of excitement for new experiences.
For 3 years she had closed herself of in her room, and she hadn’t really noticed how lonely she had been.
She craved human connection, real connection.
To meet new people, learn more about them, see the world from their perspective.
To be able to use her voice again, deep in conversation, that’s what she wanted.
Yes, she got a lot of that online, but it wasn’t the same.
Body language was missing from that. Being able to psychically be present with other humans in the same room, that was what she craved.
Would it be a good day or a disappointment, she had no idea, and that was what was so exciting to find out.
In the train she found herself all of the sudden wanting to do a little kindness meditation.
Something she had recently learned from a you tube video.
She started reciting.
“May I be loved, May I be safe, May I be well, Maybe I be happy” May I be loved, May I be safe, May I be well, May I be happy” May I be loved” deep breath in “may I be safe, May I be happy, May I be well” Exhale.
She wasn’t sure it was in the right order, but she felt herself smiling trough her thoughts.
She extended this thought to everyone else, in the train and in the world, reciting, between breaths
“May everyone be loved, may everyone be safe, may everyone be well, may everyone be happy.”
Exhale
She had never really liked meditation, but she did feel the effects of this kind of meditation.
She felt her calm down from the excitement a little and could just be in the present of the train ride.
It was time to get off the train. It had been a nice relaxing experience.
Normally she would feel overwhelmed by the people and the noise, but today she only felt calm.
She got off and walked slowly to her destination.
She looked around
Was it here?
She wasn’t sure which way she was meant to go. She looked around the house numbers and realised that she had picked the wrong road.
She still had a lot of time, so she just turned around, and walked the other way.
She stood outside with a smoke in her hand.
She still felt a bit embarrassed that she hadn’t been able to quit this unhealthy habit, but she knew in time she would attempt it again.
They started turning up.
A smile, a nod, a smile back.
She felt a little shy but was determined to just jump into conversation with them when she had the opportunity.
They where meet by the group leader.
Kind words, smiles, and a nice introduction.
It was warm in the room they were escorted to, a small welcoming breeze from the window.
A coffee in Faydra’s hand, she looked around the room and felt overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed with positive energies.
She felt safe and present.
The meeting was over, and Faydra was on the train home.
Her heart had grown 10 times as big. She was smiling up to her ears.
Pure joy, excitement. The day had turned out way better then she could ever have expected it too.
Everyone had been so nice, and Faydra had found herself wanting to get to know them all more.
She felt disappointment only when the meeting had been over.
She wanted to stay more, learn more, connect more.
She knew she had a chance again in 3 days. Two days a week she would have a chance to get to know new people. Face to face, and not from another computer screen to another.
She didn’t realise until this moment, how lonely she had felt for years.
Knowing this, she decided it was time. Time to get out there again.
Time to connect with the world she lived in
Time to really live her life again.
Today I went to a group meet up to meet likeminded people, and that experience was a lot better than I had expected it to be.
In my little story that I wrote above, I really felt how lonely I’ve been throughout the years.
Being able to connect and meet new people is an amazing experience, and a lot less scary than I thought it was going to be.
Having friends online is different to meeting people psychically, and I don’t think I really understood the difference before.
I’ve also been so buried in my work and in my head for a while.
I’ve not really felt lonely or unhappy.
I’ve actually not been this happy for years.
But meeting people today was an experience I didn’t know I was missing, and realising it now, today, is a gift.
It’s a gift because the world feels brighter, fuller of life, that’s not just my little world in my room.
I was always curious to how the corona virus affected the world.
I had lived in of isolation for years, before corona hit.
Well not complete isolation since every social interaction I had was with my friends online, but today I realise the true effect of that isolation.
What the world felt, and now I feel the freedom of that fear being over.
No longer needing to isolate, but rather that’s its time to join the world again, in the psychical.
It’s truly Beautiful…
If you feel like me, that you have been isolating for any reason?
Sign up to a class with likeminded people, and feel that isolation leave you replaced by hope, joy, and excitement. Connection
That was all I wanted to share today 😊
MissFaylyn out, and I wish you all a beautiful, inspired day.
Missfaylyn 