I’ve dealt with a lot of pain in my life, not the psychical kind, even though when you are in great emotional pain, it does have a great affect on your body as well, but the kind of pain that sits in your heart.
Losing people, I care about, feelings of being rejected or hurt by people I loved, being abused, cheated on, or feeling betrayed. That kind of pain.
I am a highly sensitive, so I’ve been used to feeling pain not for days only but for months on end, sometimes to the extent that pain became a part of my daily life.
So how do I find myself not crippled by that pain, but actually find myself being more productive and braver than ever.
Keep moving forward, don’t stop.
Emotional Pain hurts, I will still debate strongly that I would rather feel psychical pain 10 times over then emotional pain. It can cripple you to the extent that you don’t want to get out of bed, and you just feel like giving up. I found myself years ago pinching my skin to dull the emotional pain I felt inside and that it helped, for a little while. Though I wouldn’t recommend this behaviour at all, since it doesn’t last.
The one thing that does help me when I feel something this deep, is keep moving forward. Do something, doesn’t matter what, as long as you do something. The moment I wasn’t doing anything that’s where the pain came back 10-fold, so I kept myself moving.
Whether is was playing games, drawing, running, writing, cleaning, it helped a little.
It keeps the days going by faster as well, to let the healing begin.
Hitting rock bottom, there is only one way you can go, and that’s up.
When life beats you down, and you hurting, you don’t realise in that moment that there is only one way forward and that’s up again. When you in that mood, you feel like everything is bad and its always going to be like that, but from experience I now see, when I hit rock bottom there is only one way up, when everything is bad, it cant get any worse, so better start looking at the bright side and have faith that one day you will reach the top of the mountain and feel great again. It’s just a matter of time and climbing that hill again.
When I’m down there feeling sorry for myself, I also get super motivated to get up. Since I feel like I have nothing to lose now, I get braver then ever, and I work on things and interact with people I would have been to shy to talk to, or do things I’ve been to scared to try. Because in my head it can’t get any worse right? 😊
Look at what you can control but also realise what you can’t control and accept that.
When life hurts you, people hurt you or bad events happens. It wasn’t in your control, and feeling lack of control in those situations, that bad events happens, it easy to feel sorry for yourself, and tell yourself that you didn’t deserve it. You didn’t, but it still happened, so what you going to do about that?
What can you control.
In my case, if people hurt me, I wanted to so easily give that hurt back, but I didn’t want to be like them. I could at least control how I am towards others, and in that get a sense of pride that I see myself as a good person, I can control how I act towards others, and how I go about life. I can control who I am, and how I act. If I did something bad, I can control that in future by learning from it, and never do it again.
I cant control what other people feel or what they think or bad events that happens in life, and there is no point in trying to avoid bad situations but rather control If it happens, control how I go about it.
How I can heal from it and learn from it.
Even the worst events can give you strength and teach you something new about yourself, or even bring forth something better.
Recently I was hurt by a loss of someone I loved, and I was down there at rock bottom again, and for the longest time, I only felt pain, but on day one, I set myself small goals, and kept setting small goals to achieve for myself, to help me make me feel good again, feel like myself again and not just feeling pain every day, so I got up, and got those small goals ticked off one by one.
Setting small goals:
Setting small goals for yourself, it doesn’t matter what it is.
It can be the smallest of things. Like today I am going to cut my own hair and learn how to.
Today I am going to go for a small walk, or today I am going to meet new people to talk about cooking with, it can be anything.
The goals I set myself was so simple like cutting my own hair and dye it purple, make a small video, make emotes for my stream, farm gold in game for a prettier mount, or even decide to learn a new skill.
It kept me occupied from what I was feeling inside when it became too much.
After a while when I looked at what I had accomplished I felt a sense of pride, even though I was still in pain the pride of having done something else then feeling sorry for myself felt really good, and It made me want to work more at getting that feeling of accomplishment every day.
I’m only out on the other side of feeling pain, but I now feel thankful that my pain gave me strength and motivation to keep moving forward.
I’ve also learned feeling pain, the first day when you don’t feel it anymore, that beautiful sunny day where you just feel great, you laugh and suddenly realise how good that laugh feels like, is the best moment, and I promise you that day will come, it can take months but it will come and it’s the best feeling ever.
The day you find yourself smiling again, and you look back at the last months and you realise “ I survived”, and then see what you did in that time, what you accomplished even despite feeling really shitty, is an amazing feeling. You feel strength, and next time pain comes around and takes hold of you, you know you will again survive it and come out stronger on the other side of it.
Yeah it sucks we have to deal with that emotion, that it even happened in the first place, but I learned to be thankful of my pain, because it builds me up and makes me feel taller then ever on the other side of that pain.
Pain is a part of life just like love, happiness, and all the good stuff, but its up to you how you want to deal with it.
I learned how to use that pain, and the anger that comes along with it, to be brave and jump into new things.
Pain was my biggest motivator to push myself into areas in my life I would never have even dared to try.
I started streaming because of pain, I started traveling because of pain, I am who I am today because of pain. It has been the biggest motivator to reach my goals and keep working at myself, because of the biggest painful moments in my life, it gave me enough strength to realise if I survived that then anything life throws at me I will survive.
Missfaylyn 